Series of circumstances lead to me being ready to put photos on this blog. Well, possibly only one photo. Just know that I own a copy of a very easy and well made tights pattern. Enter the most hypnotizing red, white, and black stretch jersey. Add to the recipe meeting a very artistic and talented photographer who wants some sewing work. How could a blog photo NOT happen?!
My Knight is a better person than I am. I knew that when I met him, and despite being a stronger woman now than I was then, it is still true. When he called from the hotel last night, I told him all about my photography exchange plans and the rendezvous to discuss both projects--photo shoot and sewing. This good man, my Knight, who knows I chat about sexuality with all my girl friends (and even long time male friends), had a pang of jealousy that I did so with this male photographer. He was really rather sweet about it and thinks he might want to be there for the shoot.
While I do enjoy the attention I get from all the young men who like my red mohawk, I could never desire anyone other than my Knight. I may have the ego of a nineteen year old, but at thirty-two, I know there is no one so good as my Knight who would actually want ALL of me. This good man, the best man I have ever met, has seen me in every low state and continues to worship at the alter of my femininity and desire. What spoiled housewife could ask for more?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Somebody's screaming, staring at the ceiling
And finally it is me, again! I have been wanting to post this for days now, but trying to figure out ways to have more sex without the kids noticing has distracted me. My Knight left again this morning. This means there will be no pink line this month. At least there are good times. Maybe I can live the rest of my life without a pink line, if it is full of good times. Still, eliminating, again, the chance of a pink line feels wrong.
Revisiting my last post--I find I cannot be upset with Mr. White. Although I know that it takes two to make a marriage happy, I also know that you can't make someone stay in a marriage when they refuse to do so. My image of Mr. White has him a an old fashioned wild boy. Old fashioned, in that he does not want to split with the women who leave him. He wants to figure out a solution. I married an old fashioned man. He's not wild, but probably that's why he married me. The thing is, I am not actually wild. For him, it is wild enough that I have vibrant red hair, a round ass, and a mohawk. Bonus is that I want to fuck him all the time--at least when my cycle throws up the libido hormones.
It has been such a good time the last few days. Months without having this much fun together. My knight left this morning before dawn and I woke in a bed empty of any full grown man. I woke alone and cried. To be so happy for a few days and have it ripped away. Life sure has been nice to me, but there is a price.
Revisiting my last post--I find I cannot be upset with Mr. White. Although I know that it takes two to make a marriage happy, I also know that you can't make someone stay in a marriage when they refuse to do so. My image of Mr. White has him a an old fashioned wild boy. Old fashioned, in that he does not want to split with the women who leave him. He wants to figure out a solution. I married an old fashioned man. He's not wild, but probably that's why he married me. The thing is, I am not actually wild. For him, it is wild enough that I have vibrant red hair, a round ass, and a mohawk. Bonus is that I want to fuck him all the time--at least when my cycle throws up the libido hormones.
It has been such a good time the last few days. Months without having this much fun together. My knight left this morning before dawn and I woke in a bed empty of any full grown man. I woke alone and cried. To be so happy for a few days and have it ripped away. Life sure has been nice to me, but there is a price.
Monday, November 14, 2011
So think of something new
Just to show how out of popular culture I am, I just found out that Mr. White is splitting from his wife as of June. This adds a new level to my lonely moping.
Obviously it is none of my business. Cursed with a family sized level of compassion, I can understand how easily things can fall apart for good people. I also understand that two people have to work to make a marriage happy for it to be.
But Fuck it! Sometimes somebody has to just come out and say, "Let's find what the fuck is going to make us happy together and do that!" Love bubbles fade away if you don't feed them.
At a Halloween party with mostly single parents as guests, I met a lovely artist. I am actually able to have good conversations about single parenting--spending about 40% of the year as a stay-at-home single parent. This artist said wasn't it lucky my Knight and I had so much time apart so that we would stay passionate for each other. Let me tell you now that I kept my mouth shut when she said that. That is the biggest load of bullshit I ever heard.
Yes, it is good to have your own interests. When you are apart for long stretches, all you have is your own interests. Phones and video conferences and instant messaging does not make a man who can hold you while you cry over a stressful event of the day. An event, most likely, that you will be over by tomorrow, and certainly by the next time you see the man that should be holding you. Basically, days, weeks, months, apart just leads to feeling separate. It is too easy to just get on with life and focus on being happy. That is human nature. Except maybe for those who are actually 19 years old.
When faced with the obstacles of a busy life and too much time apart, it takes an effort to make sure you keep your mate alive inside you every minute of every day. To put a 19 year old effort into maintaining passion. Also, you have to understand how hormones play a role in passion and feed on that. You need to make the commitment that staying together is more important than being happy while you are apart.
We've lost this type of commitment in our society. At least sometimes it feels so. We don't teach marriage or mate selection to our children.
So I wish the best for everyone. I wish for everyone to learn the lessons they need to in time to make use of them. I wish for second, and third and fourth, chances to make happiness. I wish for everyone the painful compassion that leads to making others happy.
19 or 32, saddened either way
(post script: The compassion I feel is honest. That doesn't mean I don't have an overly healthy sense of self worth. I am nothing if not self aware. If I didn't have such a big ego, I would have an inferiority complex being married to a man who is actually a better person than I am. As it is, I am brazen enough to be a good partner.)
Obviously it is none of my business. Cursed with a family sized level of compassion, I can understand how easily things can fall apart for good people. I also understand that two people have to work to make a marriage happy for it to be.
But Fuck it! Sometimes somebody has to just come out and say, "Let's find what the fuck is going to make us happy together and do that!" Love bubbles fade away if you don't feed them.
At a Halloween party with mostly single parents as guests, I met a lovely artist. I am actually able to have good conversations about single parenting--spending about 40% of the year as a stay-at-home single parent. This artist said wasn't it lucky my Knight and I had so much time apart so that we would stay passionate for each other. Let me tell you now that I kept my mouth shut when she said that. That is the biggest load of bullshit I ever heard.
Yes, it is good to have your own interests. When you are apart for long stretches, all you have is your own interests. Phones and video conferences and instant messaging does not make a man who can hold you while you cry over a stressful event of the day. An event, most likely, that you will be over by tomorrow, and certainly by the next time you see the man that should be holding you. Basically, days, weeks, months, apart just leads to feeling separate. It is too easy to just get on with life and focus on being happy. That is human nature. Except maybe for those who are actually 19 years old.
When faced with the obstacles of a busy life and too much time apart, it takes an effort to make sure you keep your mate alive inside you every minute of every day. To put a 19 year old effort into maintaining passion. Also, you have to understand how hormones play a role in passion and feed on that. You need to make the commitment that staying together is more important than being happy while you are apart.
We've lost this type of commitment in our society. At least sometimes it feels so. We don't teach marriage or mate selection to our children.
So I wish the best for everyone. I wish for everyone to learn the lessons they need to in time to make use of them. I wish for second, and third and fourth, chances to make happiness. I wish for everyone the painful compassion that leads to making others happy.
19 or 32, saddened either way
(post script: The compassion I feel is honest. That doesn't mean I don't have an overly healthy sense of self worth. I am nothing if not self aware. If I didn't have such a big ego, I would have an inferiority complex being married to a man who is actually a better person than I am. As it is, I am brazen enough to be a good partner.)
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