Ain't No Beauty Queens in This Locality

On the theme of magical voice. There is something about Mr. White's voice that reaches somewhere inside me and makes me feel good about myself.

Thinking all the time lately of what it means to be "in love". I am it. Whatever it means. Also what "sexy" means. What is sexy? A voice? Sure. But the older I get, what it boils down to, what is truly sexy is that man lying next to me and wanting me. And why does he want me? Because I am lying there next to him and wanting him. That's it. That's sexy. And sex is a gift to create and maintain the bond of being "in love". I always love my knight. He's always the only man I trust with my full self. "In love" is a combination of that and sex--sexual attraction, sexual tension, sexual satisfaction.

To be this much in love with my knight at a point in our marriage where many are struggling just to keep talking to each other. It's a real gift. A gift we've worked at? A reward, maybe?

I don't know a song with more true lyrics than that one by Brian May. Maybe it's the millennium old instinct to find a mate who is sturdy. Sturdy enough to survive cold winters and bear children. Maybe it is just the heterosexual masculinity in the song. That raw masculinity that will see every blue-eyed floozy all the way. But life moves on. We all get old and creaky. I sometimes need my knight to pull my legs strait again after leaving me. And what does an old man want? A nice big girl that is comfortable and welcoming. Something easy to find and easy to hold onto. Someone who is sturdy and has borne his children. Something primeval. Instinctual. Someone who's there and wants you. None of us are pretty or cool anymore.

My knight started out loving ass. Good thing. Even before pregnancy--before I lost my 25" waist--I had a big ass. Now I'm just thick. Not overweight, just thick. Solid. Able to keep a whole family warm on winter nights. I sometimes jog and have a great lung capacity and general good health. The primeval sturdy woman. I am happy to be that for my knight. To be comfortable and welcoming.

Back to voices. Every song that Mr. White covers sounds better than the original. Is it his voice. Does his voice feel more true inside me than most singers? Yes. I would love to hear him sing that True song by Mr. May. A True voice for a True song. Only thing better is feeling True on the inside and True in sharing life. Only thing better is to give it all I've got.

Our Love is Love

I'm never going to be cool enough to see surprise rock shows. I avoid crowded places. I live far out of town. If anything, SXSW is a reason to avoid town at all costs :) Thanks to the miracle of YouTube, that's alright. Not cool, but at least I get to hear that magical voice sing my heart.