Long week alone with two small children. My knight is coming home in the early hours of the morning. I'm patient of this plan, as humble as I can.
Intermittent frustration with people who can't hear the hypocrisy in the things they say. I often imagine what people think about my marriage. About how such a wonderful man stays married to me. The truth is, these things are not an issue for him. The things we fight about are so obscure from public life, that they cannot be imagined by the common bystander.
When I imagine people questioning our marriage, I always hope they think it must be the sex. Even during our years of dead sex, I hoped this. Now that I'm feeling more myself, at least sexually.... Well, pride is a sin, but something close to that. I want coworkers and their spouses to think that he is getting his brains fucked out on a regular basis. That must be why he puts up with my mouth. Little do they know that my mouth does not offend him, but I do fantasize about it pleasing him.
Everyone won't be my friend, but I have one friend. One lifetime friend. One friend who won't leave of his own free will. I hope I wake up when he comes to bed tonight. Luteal phase or not--early morning appointments tomorrow or not--I want to welcome him home the way I hope others imagine.
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