Thinking a lot about choices lately. Certainly most people would not have made the choices I did. In fact, I wouldn't recommend doing so. How is it that I did everything wrong and ended up with so much right? My knight chose me. What was he looking for? What did he get? What was the price?
Spotted a former 2am "friend" when downtown with my knight on my birthday last week. Seems he is still very into 2am now eight years later. Probably about as much commitment as he can handle. That's fine for him. Although, it is men like him, lots of men, who say they would love a "nympho" wife. What they really want is a nympho at 2am, and then a regular wife. Passion--crazy--comes at a price. A price most men can't, or don't want to, pay. Would Mr. 2am stick it out through half a decade of bad sex, depression, and serious illness? You know the answer to that. Crazy doesn't stay in the bedroom (or, obviously with me, any other place). Crazy is everywhere, but it doesn't have to bad.
I've been in another man's pocket before. In a sinister way. An unstable way. Something with outside instability doesn't last long in my life. I have enough internal instability for any situation. The way my knight has been is different. He's done it the right way. He's held on with all his might and surrounded me with stability. And now he has his totally faithful, nympho wife again. His raging libido has a place to land. Forever. Forever together for each other. Lust and love. And day to day life. And he doesn't regret the payment. Or fear whatever may come in the future to hold it together. Passion makes life exciting. Just knowing a man like my knight exists adds a sense of continuity to the world. A good man also wants to have his brains fucked out on a regular basis. A man is a man is a good man.
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